Tuesday, April 3, 2012

So, It's Been a While. I'm Not Dead or Anything. This is Just an Update.

Well, after some rousing fun with my glorious bipolar psycho crazies, losing my drawing tablet so I can't complete my silly drawings for my misadventures, and two terrible weeks of having a bad reaction to an antidepressant, I'm back to doing the occasional update and not waiting six months and then leaving people with some depressing crap. But here's the fun part: I'm working on a short book. And according to Pumpkin, who is my muse, the Zelda to my F. Scott Fitzgerald, and my very patient proofreader to what can only be called the ramblings of a madwoman, it's pretty damn good. And she's not one to lie. She'll tell me if I'm writing crap. Right now, I'm not going to let out what I'm writing about, simply because I feel that it's completely different from what I write here. But I will say this: it is in no way connected to the blog. Okay, some of the stories may show up, because let's face it, the best stories are the ones that are true. And unlike Stephen King, I can't just pop out a book in the time it takes for me to write this post. See? Right now, somewhere in Maine, Stephen King has just written eight new books and is wiping his ass with hundred dollar bills. You go Stephen King, you magnificent bastard.
But I will say this: If my story, or novella, or book, or whatever it turns out to be ever gets published, I will not only dedicate it to the audience that it was meant for, but also to the people who read my blog, to the "Yeti," and most importantly to my Zelda.
But enough about that. I'm enjoying my new medication. I'm working on buying a new drawing pad, looking for a job, and I remembered that I used to love competitive martial arts, along with a myriad of other difficult sports/hobbies (ballet for one. I enjoy what I can never achieve true perfection at). I found an MMA group at a local gym, and the instructor is a woman. A badass woman. I was invited to watch a class. Now I'll be honest: I expected it to be a "self defense/take back the night" type of classes. I was so totally wrong. Even Janet said, "Those women wouldn't last five minutes with me in my class." And for all of my nice expensive clothes, high heels, designer perfumes, and makeup, I remembered that I truly missed sparring and fighting. Taking and giving a beating. As I watched the class, my hands were clenching and unclenching, and that part of my brain that has gone unused for so long flipped on like a beacon in a lighthouse and all I wanted to do was get up, join in, and throw down. That fighter's urge was begging to come out. I have a punching bag here a home, but it's just not the same. I'm dying to get that gym membership so I can get back into shape. You have to join the gym in order to join her classes. She has a contract with the gym or something like that. But, I need the gym membership anyways, so I'll have something to do with my spare time, as well as being able to join the class.
There's another gym in the next town over that specializes in MMA and fighting style sports. The problem is, all of their "promoted" fighters on their website are all men. HUGE men. They look at me, and they don't see the girl that not only qualified but earned a first place medal in free sparring at the World TaeKwonDo Tournament, has 21% body fat on 175 pound frame (that means I'm mostly muscle while still maintaining healthy feminine curves), that I can bench around 125-150 pounds (depending on the day), or the girl that is determined to work her way back to the top to become an elite fighter and step into the cage. All they see is a "girl": Boobs, hair, nails, heels, makeup, etc., and oh yeah, did I mention boobs? But this woman, Janet, didn't see that. In fact, she said she looks forward to me joining her little MMA group. Not because it would be one more paying student, but because I already have experience, and I want to truly dedicate my time to becoming a top extreme fighter. I heard that not many states allow women to cage fight. Texas, on the other hand, is one of the states that allows it! I love Texas...we have the death penalty, guns, cage fighting for male and female athletes, the right to still secede from the union and become our own country, and the Bush family. Oh, and we have "Big Rich Texas." You know that trashy shit is awesome! It's five hundred degrees during the summer, but we don't give a shit because it's Texas motherfuckers!
Since I don't have any funny original pictures or anything, here's a picture of the ambassador of the blog, the Almighty Hedgehog:

Friday, November 11, 2011

Sorry This Isn't a Funny Story Guys. But This Awesome Chick Needs Our Help!

A fellow artist on DeviantArt "NeoLucky" needs our help.  She's an awesome artist that is in need of a kidney transplant.  She lives in Anchorage, Alaska and is raising money through a medical fundraising website called Help Hope Live.  If you guys can give anything, she would appreciate it greatly!  I've already donated. All the cool kids are doing it. So if you wanna be cool, and up your awesomeness factor by a billion, then you'll go donate as well! (Note: Awesomeness is still metaphorical, but you will totally be worthy of being called Awesome if you donate!)
You can find out more about "NeoLucky" the artist in her own words via her personal journal and check out her awesome artwork on her DeviantArt page here (page opens in a new window!)
You can donate to her cause and find out more about Nicole Dubois the woman at Help Hope Live by clicking here (again, opens in new window!)
Donate whatever you can, guys! Every little bit helps and together we can all help change someone's life for the better!